GWAR

25 January 2000

WE KILL EVERYTHING TOUR 2000.
'Nuff said with Gwar, I guess. They promise it in the name of the tour, and surely they deliver. Just look at the pics to see who and what they killed in their way to entertain their blood-soaked audience. I'll just add that this was the first concert I saw in 2000, and I couldn't have picked a better show to kick off the new millenium!!! Entertainment or death!
A special thought to the opening act, "Crazy White Sean", a piercing expert who put needles, darts and stuff in his body while amiably chatting to the audience. Very sick thing, yet so funny!

(click on the thumbnail to get the bigger image)

Welcome to the show! Lara Croft and her japanese old lover (look at where she is keeping her left hand!!!) find among South-American ruins a strange carving with a name on it. The dumb Japanese man pronounces it loud: "GWAR, GWAR"...
... he evoked GWAR! They get onstage, destroying the stone wall and going on to kill who disturbed them from their sleep. In the pic, you can see the old man being face-skinned. Cue much blood pouring... while Lara was first milked and then her breasts cut off. Ahahaha!
Afetr this first slaughter, Gwar meet Scrotus, the long-lost brother of Oderus Orungus (the singer). He wants to join Gwar and he's ready to go through the fighting rituals.
Scrotus has also summoned the master of Gwars, the Toilet of the Universe. He speaks to Gwar and they all adore it, singing "This toilet Earth", for instance.
Slymenstra Hymen is devotely looking at the toilet, who starts to ask a good flushing. What a sight!
Suddenly, the stage is invaded by an idiot... Marylin Manson! He criticizes Gwar for their lack of talent and suggests them to go back to acting school just as he did. Gwar clearly don't appreciate his words and as you can see in this pic, they cut his throat.
To the amusement of the audience (who was showing lots of middle fingers to Marylin), mr. Manson is then skinned alive (his skin worn as a fur by Slymenstra) and even groped by Oderus, as you can see in the photo. Talk about a happy ending...
The Toilet is really pleased by this death, as Gwar have rid the world of a scum that's even worse than Gwar (who call themselves "Scumdogs of the universe"). So he decides to give them a prize and let them kill another star... Elvis, who turns out to be an alien actually. Scrotus disemboweled him and played with his guts...
Scrotus passed the first test, but in order to become a Gwar member, he had to get all their nasty habits, ie become a crack and heroin addict. Enter a slavepit slave and his cylum, from which the whole band smoked. Scrotus was not so sure about this but in the end he tried it and collapsed.
Another slave came in with needle and heroin, and Slymnestra wanted to be the first to get the dose. The rest of the "heroin" (which was looking more like a green liquid) was kindly thrown on the audience. I tahnk them a lot, they really lit me up (and soaked me down).
Then Scrotus had to meet Gwar's pet. A 7" tall dog who first groped Scrotus, then got killed by Slymenstra cause Scrotus was not strong enough for it!
Scrotus is given another opportunity against a Mortal Kombat monster, but the monster ate the guy's hands and almost killed him.
It was up to Oderus to push a sword deep into the moster's eye and save the day.
Scrotus was left half dead, but Slymenstra arrived dressed as any fetishist's dream nurse and helpd him with the "Pussy Power". Great way of healing a person!
Scrotus got better and he gained bigger and better arms and legs...
... so he was ready to fight the biggest monster of them all. After suffering some punches, he managed to destroy him. Scrotus is a member of Gwar now!
During the encores Gwar came out without their stage costumes and played some older songs. Well first they proceded to decapitate Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton and even their bastard son. Clinton's head was skinned and then split in two and the poor guy was still spilling blood from his brain! That was a sight!
Then something happened... the singer (no more called Oderus...) went completely crazy. He got naked, he splat on his face all the blood capsules he had left, he took off his soaked socks and drank them, he stagedove on no one and slid on the wet floor hitting his head against the walls... all the while he was singing! This amused the Gwar members even more than us... it surely wasn't an everyday's perform! All in all their show went on for 2 hours and 10 minutes! Way to go, guys!

For any comment, suggestion, or whatever you might want to tell me, my email is: thepunisher@antisocial.com

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